Dear Guy Checking Out the Peach I Was Carrying Safely in my Hands Through the Subway Station,

Just fyi, the song I was singing in my head when I made eye contact with you was:

“Don’t want m’peach to get squishysquishy squish squishysquishy.”

I hope you sensed what was behind my cold neutral I’m-on-the-Subway Face,
Cirocco

Dear Guy Who Asked Me if the E Train Goes to 7th Avenue,

I knowingly smiled at your ignorance and shook my head with authority. 

It was with a leaden heart I poked my head out of the train to look for you and retract my response.

I really effed this one up,

Cirocco

Dear Innocent Guy,

You asked from a few feet away from me:

Does the train come from this direction?

I said yes and then you walked away.

Sorry I immediately checked my bag for my wallet,

Cirocco

Dear Totally Prepared,

I don’t know what you know but I’m scared that I don’t know it.

Warmly,

Cirocco

Dear New York Transit Intimidating Sign Makers,

This looks less like a warning and more like the start of an informative Sesame Street sketch about the number 7.

7 Deadly Sins! Ah ah ah,

Cirocco

Dear Humble Bless You-er,

I sneezed three times on the train this morning and each time you said bless you in a tense sotto voce.  I looked up each time but no one was looking at me.

Thanks for your terrifying courtesy,

Cirocco

Dear Studious Immigrant,

I must admit I was disappointed when you put away your Q&A flash cards about US history.

We were learning!

Cirocco

Dear Manhattan Mini Storage Staff,

I’m surprised to see you can be as playful and snarkjabby as Gawker commenters:

Wouldn’t want to be seen teabagging anyone in this political clime,

Cirocco

Dear Priest Waiting for the L Train,

27 minutes until the next train!

HLWJW (How Long Would Jesus Wait),

Cirocco