Dear Trader Joe’s Cashier,

Sorry I took so long looking in the bag I brought from home before I handed it over.

I was concerned there might be a sock in it.

I’m disgusting,

Cirocco

Dear Potential Husbands Who Bike Along the Williamsburg Bridge,

The winner is the man who offered me help with my flat tire yesterday.

Sure, he was ambiguously homeless and ambiguously 56 years old.  But he was there when I needed him even though I said a quiet no and avoided eye contact.

Said yes with my heart,

Cirocco

Dear Incredulous Woman,

You seemed surprised I sat between a potentially homeless man and a potentially homeless sleeping man.  In my defense, the train was crowded and my Whole Foods bag was simply too laden with gold to remain standing.

Esquire,

Cirocco

Dear Homeless Person Who Gave Money To the Hipster Playing Guitar,

His parents didn’t give you that money just to throw it away.

A regular Adam Smith over here,

Cirocco

Dear Equinox Gym,

Eff you guys for taking over what was my AWESOME gym and wanting a billion more dollars.  And also judging me for wearing borrowed sweatpants three times too big that I tucked into my underwear and no shoes.

Homelessly,

Cirocco

Dear Fifty Cent Hobo,

You ask me for fifty cents every single day.  I don’t believe no one has given you fifty cents yet.

Gently but firmly,

Cirocco