January 2011
16 posts
y.t.c.
Dear Yogi Tea Copywriters,
I never took you for the passive aggressive type.
Just CALL ME next time,
Cirocco
2 tags
h.b.y.
Dear Humble Bless You-er,
I sneezed three times on the train this morning and each time you said bless you in a tense sotto voce. I looked up each time but no one was looking at me.
Thanks for your terrifying courtesy,
Cirocco
4 tags
g.w.s.a.m.a.t.c.a.t.l.a.t.c.b.w.f.
Dear Guy Who Smiled At Me At The Cafe And Then Left And Then Came Back With Flowers,
I am surprised that after all that trouble you forgot to give them to me.
Yours,
Cirocco
2 tags
k.l.a.m.r.m.w.a.j.s.
Dear Kid Looking At My Reading Materials With a Judgmental Sneer,
Yeah, I was reading Aristotle. Guess what, this weekend I’mma sing arias and translate some French.
Get off my pretentious nuts,
Cirocco
2 tags
m.o.
Dear Maureen O’Connor,
You couldn’t have kept this one under your hat?
http://gawker.com/5732115/your-zodiac-sign-may-have-changed?skyline=true&s=i
aRiEz4LyFe,
Cirocco
2 tags
b.e.a.c.o.a.r.g.w.i.w.c.o.t.g.m.t.t.h.b.i.t.t.w.d.g...
Dear Bacon, Egg, and Cheese on a Roll Guys Who I Was Counting On To Get Me Through Today’s Hangover Because I Thought Today Was Definitely Going To Be A Snow Day And Not A Work Day,
YOU’RE NOT THERE.
WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME.
Cirocco
1 tag
g.w.h.t.d.o.f.m.b.i.s.d.m.m.d.u.h.a.
Dear Guy Who Held the Door Open For Me But In So Doing Made Me Duck Under His Arm,
It was weird.
Without due gratitude,
Cirocco
3 tags
s.i.
Dear Studious Immigrant,
I must admit I was disappointed when you put away your Q&A flash cards about US history.
We were learning!
Cirocco
1 tag
c.c.g.
Dear Cozy Cafe Guy,
Probably the least appropriate place you could have chosen to sit was on the arm of my comfy chair.
Has a hard time leaving a comfy chair no matter the circumstances,
Cirocco
3 tags
m.m.s.s.
Dear Manhattan Mini Storage Staff,
I’m surprised to see you can be as playful and snarkjabby as Gawker commenters:
Wouldn’t want to be seen teabagging anyone in this political clime,
Cirocco
1 tag
l.w.i.t.s.
Dear Lady Walking in the Snow,
You had a hood with a furry rim that went all around your hidden face.
You looked like a straight up sea anemone.
Damn girl,
Cirocco
2 tags
g.t.
Dear Gay Teenager,
Check out Rebecca Drysdale’s “It Gets Better” music video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTQNwMxqM3E
More importantly, see if you can find me in the background:
1) doing the robot
and
2) doing a sweet “suckit” gesture
Warmly,
Cirocco
3 tags
g.l.a.t.a.s.
Dear Genius Lady at the Apple Store,
So I brought my laptop in to have the backlight on the keyboard fixed and you politely let me know my computer never had a backlight and then you cleaned my laptop and replaced my iPhone headphones.
Thanks for not saying “oh, the problem with your computer is that you’re retarded”,
Cirocco
4 tags
h.p.w.g.m.t.t.h.p.g.
Dear Homeless Person Who Gave Money To the Hipster Playing Guitar,
His parents didn’t give you that money just to throw it away.
A regular Adam Smith over here,
Cirocco
1 tag
u.l.a.
Dear Unexpectedly Located Announcer,
I was walking down 8th Avenue when you said, through a speaker:
Yo, New York City, this is the last call for Papa John’s and Subway!
Has never felt less cool for not picking up one last five dollar footlong for the night,
Cirocco
2 tags
g.w,a.g.t.a.s.,p.h.s.b.o.w.a.2.f.l.s.
Dear Guy Who, After Getting Through Airport Security, Put His Shoes Back on with a 2 Foot Long Shoehorn,
I’m glad you got through with this and that they made me remove three bobby pins from my pocket.
Back in New York, watching you all,
Cirocco